英语笑话大全爆笑
笑话是一种用来逗笑取乐的文体。笑话,不仅能让同学们在日常生活和学习中不时地会心一笑,还能从中学习到不少的英语知识。学习啦小编整理了爆笑英语笑话，欢迎阅读!
爆笑英语笑话篇一
安瓜拉瓜拉
A politician was out on the Indian reservation displaying his sympathy for the oppressedNative Americans. He addressed a gathering of the people.
一位政客抵达一处印第安人居留地向居住在该区被压迫的原住民表达他的关切之情。他向一群民众发表演说。
The plight of your tribe has always been close to my heart," said the politician.
“我一直切身体会到你们的穷苦困境，”政客说。
"Umgwalagwala , "responded the audience enthusiastically.
“安瓜拉瓜拉!”群众热烈欢呼。
I shan' t rest until greater efforts are made on your behalf.
“不为你们争取更多的福利，我个人绝不会松懈。”
"Umgwalagwala," they responded more loudly.
“安瓜拉瓜拉!”群众反应更为热烈。
"And I personally guarantee that you will all be accorded full and equal civil rights."
“此外我愿个人保证你们将被赋予完全及公平的公民权利。”
"Umgwalagwala," shouted the tribe.
“安瓜拉瓜拉!”整个部落的人都叫喊起来。
The politician was pleased with his reception and asked for a tour of the reservation. Soon,he and his guide were standing next to a fenced enclosure.
对这样的接待，政客感到非常高兴，因此他要求游览该居留地，不久他和向导就走到一处封闭的篱笆围墙。
"And what is this used for?" asked the orator.
“这是做什么用的?，’政客问道。
"oh, this empty now, but before we keep bulls in here. "
“喔，现在空无一物，但以前我们在这里养牛。”
"I see," said the visitor, and was planning to enter the enclosure.
“原来如此，”政客说着准备进入篱笆内。
"Hey,you better not go in there,You likely step in a lot of umgwalagwala."
“嘿，你还是不要进去的好，否则你可能踩到很多的安瓜拉瓜拉。”
爆笑英语笑话篇二
Face it
用脸去敲钟
Quasimodo had just died, so the rector was looking for a new hunchback to ring the great bell of Notre Dame cathedral.But the first man who applied for the job was not only a hunchback, but armless as well.
钟楼怪人刚去世，因此教区的神父正在找一位驼背的人来敲巴黎圣母院的大钟。但是第一个去应征的不仅是驼背，而且连手也没有。
"Of course, I'd like to give you the job," said the priest,"but how will you manage it?" "Never fear," replied the dauntless paraplegic. "Just watch;! "
"当然，我愿意给你这个工作机会，"神父说道，"可是你怎么去敲钟呢?""别怕，"勇敢的残疾者答道。"待会看了你就知道。"
The two men went up to the bell tower and there the applicant took a run at the great bell, striking it with his face.The effect was magnificent, and the hunchback repeated his performance several times. However, he soon became dizzy and at the next run, missed the bell completely and went hurtling out of the bell tower to crash to his death in the courtyard below.
两个人走上钟楼，应征者用脸撞那个大钟，响了好一阵子，效果良好。于是驼子又撞了几次。可是不久他就觉得头晕目眩，下一次竟然落了空，掉到钟塔外，跌死在下面的庭院里。
The priest rushed down to the crumpled body, over which a policeman was already standing. "Do you know this fellow's name?" asked the cop. "No, but his face certainly rings a bell!"
神父冲到跌得皱成一团的尸体之处，有个警察已经站在那里。"你知道这个家伙的名字吗"警察问道。"不知道，但他的脸孔好熟喔!"
爆笑英语笑话篇三
I didn't take that in
我没有把药吃下去
A fellow who was rather slow on the uptake had been suffering from constipation, so the doctor provided him with some suppositories.
有位理解能力相当迟缓的老兄一直为便秘所苦，因此医生给他一些利肠的栓剂。
A week later, the patient came back to tell the doctor that his condition had not improved.
一星期后病人回来告诉医生，他的状况尚未改进。
"I'm amazed," said the doctor. " Have you been taking the medicine I prescribed for you?"
“我觉得好奇怪，”医生说。“你有没有采用我开给你的药方呢?”
"What do you think I've been doing, shoving it up my ass?"
“你以为我做什么呢?难道要我把它们都塞进屁股里吗?”
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