如何写出英语高分作文(2)
①开门见山、点题。
②真情流露，理由充分。
③文中带圈的连词使用得恰当，使文章过渡自然、
④巧妙使用句型以表决心。
[点评]：档次13-14分。
①清楚表达写作目的，要点齐全。
②语言表达灵活多样，字里行间流露出真情实感，文章有感染力。
③恰当使用连词和从句，语言流畅，且无错误，是一篇高质量的作文。
[高分突破]
①文体：记叙文。
②要点：what → when →how → why → hope and plan for the future。
③时态：一般现在时，一般过去时，一般将来时的自然变化。
内容具有开放性，但它也是"控制性"的写作试题，因此不能随意发挥，要善于抓信息，写完要点。选用这两篇学生真实习作，一是因为他们选材相同，二是因为他们都是英语成绩优秀的同学。同学b灵活使用连词so…that， so， little by little， when， so that等，恰到好处地使用新句型和短语used to， became interested in， come true……等，使内容丰富，读起来优美流畅。其实这些表达同学a也会，只是缺乏技术加工。通过这两篇作文点评，同学们便能悟出其中的奥妙。
四、培养途径
1. 根据老师布置的写作内容，独立完成一篇写作。
2. 与同伴合作，交流自己的写作，通过交流找出各自作文中写得好的地方和优美的句子，合作创造一篇新的文章，供大家欣赏。
3. 找老师点评，请求老师指点，尤其是怎样润色。
4. 自己纠错，写下反思。
五、备考演练
a
缙云山是重庆著名的游览胜地，每天有大量的游客。请你根据下面提供的信息写一篇报道，说明现在的游客在环境保护方面的变化。
写作要求：
1. 词数在100左右。
2. 条理清楚，语句通顺。
3. 开头已写好，但不计入总词数。
Jinyun mountain is a famous place of interest …
b
阅读电视广告词："if we don't save water ， the last drop of water will be a tear-drop."根据提示，写一篇60-80词的短文。
提示：
1. 生活离不开水。
2. 可饮用水在减少。
3. 水污染严重。
4. 应保护水源，再利用水。思路点拨与参考答案
a. [思路点拨]：
①文体：记叙文。
②时态：一般过去时态，一般现在时态。采用正反对比的写作手法，增加感染力。
③写作目的：告诉读者保护环境的重要性。
Jinyun mountain is a famous place of interest . Every day a lot of tourists come here to enjoy its beauty. but a few years ago，some of them paid no attention to protecting the environment. they threw their rubbish，such as plastic bags，fruit skins and waste paper on the ground. sometimes they broke trees，picked flowers and killed birds. Some even made fires in the woods to cook food. How dangerous it was. luckily， great changes have taken place here. tourists are used to putting their rubbish into dustbins， and they are doing their best to protect the birds and plants as well. They bring their own meals instead of cooking to prevent starting a forest fire in the mountains. All these changes make us very happy.
b. [思路点拨]：
①夹叙夹议(说明现状，谈谈感想)。
②时态：一般现在时态。
③广告词的含义--水很重要，应保护和再利用(写作意图)。
Water is very important to humans. we can't live without water. The water we can drink is falling. but some people don't seem to care about it. They waste a lot of water. They pour dirty water into rivers and lakes. Water pollution is getting more and more serious. So we must do something to stop the pollution. We not only protect the water but also find ways to reuse it. if we don't do this， the last drop of water will be a tear-drop.
